Twenty-nine weeks four days

Partner thinks the reason why I haven't had any strange food cravings during this pregnancy is that I eat a balanced diet anyway. I generally eat my five-a-day,almost always eat whole grains for breakfast (either cereal or oatmeal) and hardly ever touch junk food. Plus we cook dinner from scratch nearly every day, meaning meals without excess salt/sugar/preservatives/colorings. Two of my coworkers (bearing in mind I work in a kitchen) don't cook at home--they just eat ready meals from the supermarket. And one has kids, too. I think that's disgraceful.

Partner and I made a movie from our last Christmas as a childless couple: http://www.youtube.com/user/how1she1sparkles#p/a/u/0/LRAgfDW2JoU. There are a few good shots of my tummy.

A few nights now I've had bad cramps in my calf, usually from turning and stretching while half-asleep. Though the pain is not as intense when I get up in the morning, it's still been hard to walk on until I warm it up a little.

The weight I'm carrying is beginning to get a bit heavy. On my walk today I could feel it dragging at my midriff with every step. I feel I ought to be wearing a belly bra or something, just to hold it up. I can only imagine the sag I'll have once the baby's born.

Twenty-eight weeks four days

This week the midwife measured me at one centimeter bigger than average. So she's quite happy with his size now. She thinks he may have been laying horizontally last time she measured.

I went to the hospital with a tiny amount of bleeding last week. There was no pain, and the blood was just in a few pinpricks, but I got really worked up about it. They hooked me up to a baby moniter thing for about an hour, and his heartbeat and movements were fine. They also examined me and think perhaps I have a slight infection, but I still haven't got the test results back yet. Even so, they gave me an injection of anti-D and sent me home after I'd been there about three hours. So I'm not so worried now.

For the past night or two he's been kicking hard enough to wake me up. It's starting to get a bit uncomfortable, but I still think it's great. When I lay down, he really likes to thump. Like he's trying to pummel his way out. I can imagine he'll only get more persistent as he gets stronger.

I'm still going on my walks with the dog in the morning, though there's been snow on the ground for the past week. I'm a bit scared of slipping on ice, but I got some wellington boots for my birthday and I'm a lot more confident with them on. However, it's hard to slog through the snow and I get tired a lot quicker. One more day till Christmas. It's our last Christmas as just the two of us. Next one Franklin will be nine months old!

Twenty-seven weeks five days

The midwife today measured me and the baby is one centimeter smaller than average, but nothing to be concerned about at this point. She wants to see me every two weeks now though, because of it. She came over for a quick home visit and tried to take some blood (I'm rhesus negative which means I need a special injection--I looked up the reason why but can't be bothered to explain) but failed. Still, she measured and listened to the heartbeat, which was off to the lefthand side this time. Usually he's been right up front and center.

Still, he's been pretty active and still shifts around a bit along with the kicking and wriggling. Last night we were invited to a party, so I made a new dress to show off my shape. I feel I've gotten bigger, but not drastically. I don't have stretch marks yet. I think I look smaller than some women at this stage because I'm quite tall, too. I know I can gain quite a bit of weight and not have it show much because of my height. But speaking of weight gain, I don't think I've gained much either. A bit, I guess, but it's mostly in the tummy. I haven't weighed myself in ages.

For Christmas, we've cut back a bit so we can concentrate on saving for baby things. And some of the things I've gotten Partner are things for him and the baby. I've gotten all I'm going to buy for Christmas, except for a few food items for dinner. There are just one or two more things to make now.

It snowed yesterday and last night, which is very unusual for this time of year. I had wanted to wear fabulous shoes to the party, but I took about three steps to the car and decided to go back in and change to sensible shoes. Normally I wouldn't care much about a little slip, but now I'm much more concerned about falling over. We also left the party a little early (well, it was 12.30, so not that early!) because it got to the point that several people were starting to stagger a bit. I didn't want to be knocked into. Going to a party and staying sober is fun up to that point. When everyone else is stumbling drunk, it's time to go home.

Twenty-six weeks five days

For the past few weeks I've been so exhausted at the end of the day that I go to sleep almost as soon as I hit the pillow. I still have to get up once or twice a night to pee, though. I don't feel the need for a mid-day nap, however. I'm also not as ravenous as I was for the first half of the pregnancy. It's strange that when he was just a collection of cells, I was starving all the time, and now that he's a proper baby, I'm not much hungrier than I normally would be.

I don't feel I've gotten much bigger from the last picture I posted. He's big enough now to be an actual weight, though. I can't lay on my back anymore because he presses on tender bits and makes my legs feel fuzzy. It's quite difficult to actually turn over in bed because of the weight. I also notice that I can only bend so far, so I must squat. This makes certain chores like laundry a bit tricky.

My mother sent me two boxes crammed with baby clothes. I don't know if he'll have enough time to wear all the clothing he now has. I made a new cover for the bassinet (recall the original was pink) out of a white cotton curtain. I also finished the crocheted blanket and can't wait to make another. But I'm working on another knitted hooded cardigan first. I love making baby things, though I'm sure he won't care one way or another.

Twenty-five weeks one day

I saw the midwife again today and she says everything is normal and she found the heartbeat right away. She actually did a home visit--very convenient for me. Except I have to make sure the house is tidy before she arrives... Actually I have been maintaining tidyness for several weeks now and don't dread unexpected visitors at all. Not that I ever get any unexpected visitors.

Partner's parents came up for a four-day visit and brought us loads of baby things, including clothing, a changing mat, a carseat, and a bassinet/moses basket. The cover for the bassinet is bright pink, so I'm thinking I may make a new one. Or maybe not. He'll only be in it about six months. Partner's mother brought several little cardigans she had knitted, and I understand she's on a roll and plans on making more. I have knitted one little cardigan with only a few hardly-noticeable flaws. I am also nearly finished with a nice crocheted cotton blanket. I've worked on it less than a week and I may make another. I'm thinking I would like to make something for a good friend who is also pregnant with her first, and this blanket has gone so quickly and easily, it could be the very thing.

I woke up with a terrible cramp in my thigh yesterday morning. I've never had one before, and it was so painful I couldn't even concentrate enough to cry or do anything more than gasp. I felt like I would faint. Luckily Partner woke up immediately (probably from my flailing about) and pressed hard against the muscle and it eased up after about a minute. I was worried about Franklin, as the pain extended to my abdomen and back, but he gave a little reassuring wiggle after I'd calmed down.

From the way he wiggles now, I think he's going to be so much fun after he's born. My mother asked me if I thought he had ADD; I think he's just a little jumper. I can't wait to see his face for the first time, and see his eyes and hair and expressions. Will he look like me or will he look more like Partner? Will he be a little brown-eyed boy or a little blue-eyed boy?

Twenty-three weeks four days

I got myself a fabulous coat from the charity shop which will fit me during pregnancy and I will still be able to wear afterwards as well. It's a lovely emerald green cashmere Givenchy coat: and it cost £20. During the same shopping trip, Partner also found a very smart tweed wool overcoat for the same amount. He loves it.

I've noticed that Franklin doesn't like me to use the hand dryer in the ladies' at work. He starts squirming when I put my hands under it. I understand, though; I don't like loud noises either. The other night Partner put some Bach harpsichord music on and Franklin got very active. I've been practicing my piano for him; he seems to respond.

People at work have been commenting on my growing bump. One said that it looks like I get bigger every time she sees me. I'm also starting to get wary about people coming too close to me if they're not paying attention. I feel like the baby is a lot more exposed and I don't want to get knocked into or knocked over. I have only two evening shifts left at work, then a week off (Thanksgiving week) and I go onto breakfast shifts full time. Then I won't have to worry about people running with knives and pans of boiling water (I've seen both).

I'm still keeping up my bi- or tri-weekly walks with the dog to keep a bit active. I keep up a good pace and try to push myself so I'm out of breath. I'm also doing some light gardening mostly every day, and of course I do a bit of light housework as well. And I have gone back to eating most foods, even runner beans, though I still can't manage fatty meats, including ground beef. I feel pretty healthy, and I feel like I'm doing the baby good. Which is the main thing.

Twenty-two weeks three days

I went into the closet a few days ago and tried on every single coat and jacket I own. As I like my coats close-fitting, only one of them still goes around me. Unfortunately, this is my special going-out coat which I only wear on a limited basis as it's entirely made of white faux ermine and is absolutely huge. I call it my movie star coat. I love it but simply cannot wear it to work if I want it to stay nice. I've had to drag out my old chenille wrap which I haven't worn in more than five years. It's ragged (I call it bohemian) and sheds a bit, but it's warmer than just a cardigan. Luckily all my cardigans still work, even if only buttoned at the top.

Franklin's movements are a lot more noticeable now; I'm feeling him every day, though not big kicks every day. The other night in the bath he kicked so hard my tummy was visibly moving up and down. But then all the next day I was so sore in my middle; it felt like he was trying to force his way out of my stomach. One side was poking out more than the other, even.

I'm only seeing my midwife now, as the obstetrician thinks everything is just fine. We listened to his heartbeat and she measured him: he's a big boy already. I think he'll take after me and be a tall one. Well, Partner's not short either. He's probably the tallest in his whole family, just like I'm the tallest woman of all my relatives. But I don't care if Franklin turns out to be a little shrimp. Just so long as he's smart, caring, athletic, creative, honest, and handsome.

Partner plays all sorts of music for him now: I sometimes play piano for him or sing. I try to remember the words to all the art songs I know, the ones I used to sing for competitions. Partner either puts on a cd or breaks out the guitar.

Partner's parents are coming to visit for a few days at the end of the month and his father has warned him that his mother has gone overboard with baby stuff. But we don't mind. We want all we can get.

Twenty-one weeks

This morning in bed I felt little kicking, and said to Partner, "Quick, put your hand here!" I don't think he was quite awake, but he felt the kicking too. It was really exciting for me, for sure. I mostly feel him moving softly every day now, but this is the first time Partner's felt him.

I'm at the halfway mark now. In some ways it feels like ages, but in others, it's really flown by. I can hardly believe it's November now, certainly. March still seems a long time away, but it's only four months now. Now my chef jackets are even getting a bit of strain; I don't think I'll be fitting into them for much longer. I guess it's time I discussed maternity leave with my boss. I'm thinking I'll work until the end of December. I have a feeling that since it'll be a lot quieter at work, there won't be so many hours available for me anyway.

My mother is making plans to come for several weeks after the birth; she's been asking me what I want. She says she'll get me a baby sling and has plenty of clothing. I think the only thing I want now is a bed of some sort and bedding, and a carseat. Well, I don't have many clothes either, or diapers/nappies. I'm making a woolly yellow and blue cardigan; it actually looks ok without too many obvious mistakes. I think after I finish this one I'll make another a few sizes bigger. This one ought to fit a newborn but I know they grow quickly.

Still feeling good, with heartburn as my only unpleasant symptom. I'm finding it difficult to bend over and also to lift big things like the laundry basket. It's not the weight that's the problem, but I can't balance it against my waist any more.

Twenty weeks two days

At last the suspense is over: it's a boy! Seeing him on the ultrasound was so amazing. He was very active, kicking and even somersaulting; his legs are so long! I've been saying to myself today: I have a son. It's a great feeling.

Partner has said that I now look like I'm pregnant, and I definitely have a tummy now. Even through my chef jacket, I look pregnant though I'm still not huge. It's still hard to believe that it's actually me: that I'm actually having a baby. I'm going to be a mother. My son will be named Franklin Hill.

In Partner's family, children have two middle names. I want his middle name to be Richard, and Partner thinks we should have it be Rigel. So it could be Franklin Richard Rigel. But perhaps we will just stick with Franklin Richard. Franklin, by the way, is after Partner's father. It is important to both of us to have family names.

I'm tentatively going back on vegetables, though I still have a lot of aversions. My heartburn hasn't been too bad (probably because I've been avoiding trigger foods) and I feel really healthy. I've been walking the dog on my days off, and it does tire me out, but in a good way. I'm also still managing full days at work, so no problem there. I want to be in the best shape possible during and after my pregnancy.

I do get irritated pretty easily still; I've caught myself snapping at people at work. However, I have tried to warn them all that I have a short fuse, and it's caused by hormones. At least, I think it is. I don't think I'm normally this irritated.

Eighteen weeks one day

I have been feeling little movements in my tummy over the past week or so. I only really notice them when I'm relaxed and not concentrating on anything. Once or twice they have been definite little kicks. Mostly they're little flutters.

I'm managing to do my full hours at work now, though I sleep a lot at night. Normally I'm in bed for about ten hours if I can, though I get up two or three times to pee. I do get quite tired, but not so much that I can't cope. I need all the hours I can get, really, to build up for my maternity leave. I'm thinking I will probably start it at the end of January. Maybe. It's not something I can gauge from this point.

Partner has been receiving things on freecycle for the upcoming baby: namely, a travel cot (he says it's more like a playpen; I haven't seen it set up), and a futon. Our spare bedroom has a double bed which he says he's giving away, and the futon can be set up as a sofa there unless we need it as a bed. This way the guest room can be a nursery. Apparently his parents are going to buy us a carseat. Partner wants to make a baby crib/cot but I'm not sure he has the time/materials. I would be fine with a second-hand one, so long as it's sturdy.

And I've begun my first knitted baby garment: a hooded cardigan. I'm thinking as I make it, it could be quite small. But then, I don't know how big newborn clothing actually is. I guess I'll just have to see.

Sixteen weeks five days

My hunger has not abated, and I have quite bad heartburn which is stimulated by most foods. I still have an aversion to food in general which has not been helped by the heartburn. Food is still disgusting and I don't want to eat it. Only I'm starving all the time to the point of pain, so I must eat.

I made a tummy band out of an old t-shirt and it works great. It's nothing special, and I only spent about ten minutes on it, but it covers me up, and I can wear my normal trousers (low or unbuttoned) while wearing it. Even some of my shirts now are too small to wear. I took off my chef jacket in front of a coworker and she said amazedly, "You're showing already!" I am, a little. I guess I'm technically four months along now. Actually my chef jackets are starting to strain a little. Normally they are quite big on me, and they're still big in the shoulders but tight in the middle. Luckily my chef trousers are also big on me, or I wouldn't be able to get them on.

A good friend of mine is due in February and she says she would like to send me a baby blanket. As we don't know what we're having yet, I've asked that she send something in bright or gender neutral colors. She's having a boy, and I would like to send her something in return. I thought I'd like to try knitting a hooded baby cardigan for her, but I'm going to make one for me first, to get the hang of it. I've just finished knitting some socks for myself (my first knitting project) so I think I can manage, but need practice. I also want to knit socks for Partner for Christmas. The first sock I made took a week, the second about five days. I'm not a fast knitter. But I'll have to knit fast if I want these done in time.

My mother also wants to make a baby quilt, which I would be happy to receive, but I do already have one. It's the one she made for me when I was a baby.

Fifteen weeks

A relative who had a baby girl last year gave us a baby seat, baby swing, and some clothing. Most of the clothing is pink. Partner says, "I hope he likes pink!" I don't think if it's a boy I'll dress him in pink, just to avoid confusion ("What a sweet baby girl you have!" "Uh, actually he's a boy..."), though the room we're turning into a nursery is pink. We painted it about five years ago and Partner says he's not repainting. I don't think a baby will care either way. I know I don't care. Pink is a nice color; I wouldn't have painted my spare room pink if I didn't like it.

I'm beginning to actually show now, and a lot of my clothing doesn't fit now. Even my chef jackets are starting to pull a bit around the waist. Not enough to be uncomfortable, but enough to notice. Luckily my chef bottoms are already big and baggy. I've talked to my boss about working late into the pregnancy, and we've agreed that when I get too big, they'll take me off days/evenings and give me breakfast shifts, which are a lot slower paced, and less chance of slipping and tripping. I already do a few breakfasts a month anyhow, so I'm happy with that. Right now I'm still ok on evenings, but I can see it getting to be a problem in another month or two.

So I bought some clothing for me, all from charity shops, all to be altered into maternity wear. I've got a few pairs of trousers, and some t-shirts to cut into tummy bands. There are several tutorials online on how to change regular clothing into maternity clothing and it seems very easy. I almost need the tummy bands right now, though I can still wear some of my old pants. The only thing I cannot squeeze into: my bras; I've had to buy maternity ones.

I have a lot more energy lately; I asked Partner if I was still being mean to him, and he says my mood has really improved. I apologized for the three months of snapping and biting remarks, and he said he understood. Even though I couldn't seem to stop being horrible, I did feel very bad about it.

Thirteen weeks five days

My due date was pushed back four days by my last ultrasound technician. I am now due March 14th. When my mother saw this scan she said she thought it was sucking its thumb. This scan was dated at twelve weeks four days. I wonder if they suck their thumbs that young.

This time I saw the baby moving, and I could see all its facial features, including eyes, nose, and ears. I saw its little shimmering heart beating. Because it's a little bigger than expected, I'm tending to think it'll be a boy. But then, I was pretty big for a newborn at 8lbs 14oz, so maybe it's a girl. I can't decide which one I want more. I don't think Partner has a preference, either.

I've gone back to work, and it's been very tiring, but I've managed to stick with every shift so far. Last night it got a bit too hot and I had to sit down twice or faint. Luckily I sat before I fainted. They want me in more to cover for other people's holidays, so I'll be doing more days, but still short shifts.

My nausea is nearly nonexistent now, only to be replaced by heartburn. A lot of things now give me heartburn, and it's bad. Painfully bad. I've got some antacid but I don't like taking it if I don't have to, so I've been trying to learn my problem foods. It seems bread and other starchy stuff is ok, as is milk and yogurt, but cheese is iffy. Pizza is bad, salsa is bad, pineapples are bad, and orange juice even gives me a little.

Eleven weeks five days

Our second scan was taken at nearly eleven weeks, and Partner even saw the baby moving (he was in a better position to see the screen) at one point. The doctor said it's looking very good, with all its development right on track, and she gave me the all clear to stop taking my medication.

Because it is still kind of early days, we haven't done much preparation, but we've been promised clothing and other newborn items from family members. There isn't much I want: just the essentials. We are probably going to go with cloth diapers/nappies, and I have been tending towards a sling for carrying it around while it's still little, rather than a stroller/pram. The only thing I'm really bothered about getting new is a car seat, as I don't want one that could be damaged or in any way unsafe.

All the marketing towards new parents and children makes me want to do this as simply as possible. As the eldest child in a big family, I know that newborns don't want much and don't care about toys or gadgets. And personally I haven't been into fashion since I was about fourteen years old, so I don't see the need to buy trendy new clothing for an infant who won't notice.

I'm feeling a bit less nauseous than last week, and have gone walking a few times: this tires me out a lot, but I can go on quite a bit longer than previously. I went book-shopping again today and was able to manage the indoor air a lot better than last time. I've asked my work to try me out on a couple short shifts this week so I'll see how it goes.

Ten weeks three days

The horrible metallic taste I've had in my mouth since I first began getting nausea is not so bad now. I had a hard time drinking water because it would taste terrible. I'm drinking more now (thanks to Robinsons fruit squash--I can drink flavored drinks, but too much juice makes my stomach hurt, so a light dash of orange squash in my water solves my problems). I've been branching out in my food preferences as well, and am willing to try more things, though I still have to avoid greasy/fatty meats. And I just can't face vegetables yet, though I normally love my veg.

I think my nausea is also a bit less severe and less often. I had about a day and a half where my stomach felt like it was full of nails, but now I'm mostly just ravenous with a touch of sickness. I haven't been cooking because the smells set off my nausea, but I actually made a fruit salad the other day. And I washed a sinkful of dishes without retching once.

I have only had about two or three injections in the past week because I can't manage them. I don't think there is a single place left on either leg or buttock which has not had a puncture already. Imagine sticking a needle into a bruise. That is what it is now like. On the plus side, I'm seeing my specialist in two days to discuss it, and hopefully she'll give me the all-clear.

I'm still getting up multiple times in the night for bathroom breaks, and sleeping quite a bit, but I haven't needed a mid-day nap for a couple of weeks now. My most prevalent symptom now is hunger. It takes about an hour and a half after a meal for me to need another. I couldn't possibly say how many meals that totals up in a day. I've told Partner I think I have a tapeworm in addition to a pregnancy. He just rolled his eyes.

Nine weeks two days

Today Partner and I went into town to pick up some more books for me to read. It's the first time I've really been out of the house for two weeks. I had a very hard time while inside the few shops we went into, and had to leave after just a few minutes and get some fresh air. I felt a bit faint and nauseous, though the breeze made me feel a bit better. We normally buy our books from charity shops so we have to really look at them all to find any worth even trying. I did get about five or so, but the 45 minute trip included twenty minutes of sitting down on a bench and eating a sandwich, and then when we got home after another 45 minutes, I needed more food straight away.

So I'm still ravenous nearly all the time and get quite nauseous, but not quite as exhausted. My breasts are no longer so tender--they feel as normal, just a bit larger. I've been taking progesterone injects for about two months now and the muscles in my thighs and bum are hurting. Two months of injections...give or take 62 shots, 31 in each side. No wonder they feel flayed. Hopefully these injections will cease by the 25th, in ten more days, when I see my specialist again. And as I'm counting down the days to my second trimester, perhaps I will be losing the morning (make that all day) sickness and faintness. Actually my blood pressure is a little high, according to the doctor, though not enough to be alarmed about. I can tell my heart is pumping a lot more than usual, which may be making me dizzy/faint.

I feel a bit less tired, but today's excursion did wear me out, and I don't think I'm quite ready for work. I'll be visiting the doctor again to pick up another note, probably for two more weeks. It'd be no good to turn up and pass out ten minutes later. And maybe after those two weeks are up, I'll actually feel like working.

Eight weeks one day

Yesterday I met my midwife for the first time and filled out a ton of paperwork and had some blood taken. She came here to the house for our appointment, but it was still pretty tidy from last week's guests (Partner's sister and daughter came for the weekend).

At eight weeks, I'm still feeling very nauseous for most of the day, and quite hungry. It is very difficult to find food that I can choke down, especially when I have to do so every hour and a half. I've told Partner, quite seriously, that what I really want is a drip. That way I don't have to worry about finding it, putting it in my mouth, swallowing it, and having it come back up again. Plus I wouldn't have to worry about drinking either. Even water tastes horrible and I can only take small mouthfuls at a time. This from the woman who normally drinks about two to three liters a day. I'm lucky if I get through half a liter in a day now. I still drink a bit of juice and ginger ale, but my fluid intake is way down.

I've got a two week note from the doctor so I'm not back at work. The midwife actually told me not to hurry back. We can't really afford for me to not be working, but we both agree there are some things more important than money. This little spark of life means more to me than anything, and work was making me even more ill. At home I can sleep and retch as much as I need to.

I do have a tiny rounded belly, but I think it's more fluid and possibly gas than any noticeable baby just yet.

Six weeks six days

We had our first scan yesterday at the doctor, and she found the embryo straight away and she has said everything looks very good. We even listened to the heartbeat. Partner was very excited to see and hear it. I asked him and he says it feels more real to him now. Of course, it seems very real to me because I can feel all these small changes happening in my body. It was about the size of a little jelly bean and the sac itself was maybe small plum sized. No wonder I'm starting to stretch at the seams.

My mother and Partner's parents have been told, but we've asked them to keep it quiet from the rest of the family for another month/six weeks. I have my next scan in four weeks, and I will feel easier telling people when there is less of a chance of miscarriage. Not that I'm really at a particular risk of it, but these things do happen sometimes.

TV and computer screens both make me feel nauseous so I have been doing a lot of reading. Not so much blogging or gaming. I can eat rice krispies, orange juice, brown toast, ham and mustard sandwiches, and bean burritos. Anything else is a probable no. Still have not actually puked, but a few times have retched. My sense of smell is heightened and many things smell disgusting to me now.

We have a due date: March 18, 2010. I will be seven weeks along tomorrow.

Sixth week

The nausea continues though the lightheadedness is not as bad. Mostly, I think, because I am not so exposed to heat. I am working in a cooler environment and not standing for such long periods.

I am, however, very hungry nearly all the time. I can eat a large meal and be starving an hour later. I'm trying to focus on good fresh foods like lean chicken, eggs, cottage cheese, salads, fruits, nuts, and wholemeal toast. The only problem with most of these food items, though, is that they don't leave me very full. But anything that is greasy/fatty or sweet makes me want to throw up. Partner had some parmesan on his dinner the other evening and I had to leave the room, just from the smell. Butter also makes me a little icky. And all this makes it difficult both to cook and be cooked for.

Still very tired and trying to sleep when I can. I'm thinking I may take a nap when I get home from work. Which is now.

Fifth week achieved

From the third week, I was definitely waking up at least twice at night to pee. I knew right away, from this and from the bloated feeling: I was pregnant. Pregnancy was confirmed in the fourth week.

From the fourth week I was beginning to feel a bit lightheaded, tired, and dizzy, especially after standing for an extended period, or in heat. So work started to be a bit bad. I was asking for sit-down breaks constantly, culminating in an early finish one night because of faintness. I have asked my boss to be switched out of the kitchen, at least until I feel a bit more stable.

From yesterday I have begun to have bouts of nausea, though no actual vomiting. The fatigue has increased, or maybe just amplified because of the queasiness.

I am in part thrilled to have symptoms, because they say that means everything is going right, but still a bit terrified that something will go wrong. Partner says this is irrational and I don't need to worry until something actually does go wrong. I will try. I've wanted this very badly, and only recently recovered from an ectopic pregnancy, so I think the conflicting emotions are likely to continue.

Fifth week has now been achieved and I am now in my sixth week.